Coz I feel like it...

I know it's been a very long time and it's highly likely that no-one will read this, but I feel like writing. So much has happened since my last post and yet it feels as if so little has changed. I'm at uni studying Primary Education, something I felt very strongly I needed to do...at least until opportunity presents itself.

This uni business is something to do with being a good steward of my time, being faithful in the little things, in the mediocre. Everything within me cries out to be doing more, to be loving more, to be giving more. It feels like I have so much to give, but so little opportunity to give it...or maybe it's just so little time. How is it that I can feel like I'm in the right place and the wrong place all at the same time?

I want to spend more time with the homeless, but they seem so hard to find. Perth feels so isolated, not just from the rest of the world but from each other. The fact that there are thousands of homeless in WA and yet I can't seem to find more than a handful. Where are the people sleeping in their cars? Where are the people living with their electricity turned off? Where are the children who won't get a proper meal today? I want so desperately to be able to give them something...and it feels like time and distance are ripping my heart out.

God, how do I do this?

I feel as though my light has dimmed.

Proverbs 13:12 says "Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around."

It feels like I've been in this place for a very long time, with a sick heart waiting for a good break. Good breaks come, but they are short lived and it seems like they're just there to keep me from giving up. Disappointment is unrelenting. I am tired.

I am finding solace in the Word, but I am ready for something more than what I know now. I hope, though I do not know how there is still hope left in me.

He is still good.

He is still my purpose.

He is still my desire, my delight, my destiny.